Cancer, COVID-19 and the fear of God

It has taken me decades to learn the meaning of  “fear God or fear everything else.”  Here is my story.

In 1971, the voting age was lowered to 18, the majority of Americans finally turned against the Vietnam War, Disney World opened in Orlando, James Taylor and Janis Joplin were at the top of the charts, and I was looking for peace of mind.

At the spontaneous invite of a college acquaintance I joined a bible study. After listening and reading for several weeks, I began to believe, or so I thought, I was finally exposed to the “real Gospel.” I was told Jesus wanted to be my buddy and cheerleader; a celestial presence that would give me peace and lead me on paths of success and happiness!

Fearing the Lord, a common refrain in the scriptures, was tamed by well-meaning Christian encouragers. No need to fear God, just trust that Jesus died for my sins and then enjoy an “all good, cleared for heaven status.” Discipleship, as in learning how to live like Jesus, sounded nice but it also sounded optional and too radical. I thought I was okay with that, but guilty and confusing feelings persisted as I tried to walk the fence between my youth culture and the Christian life. Little did I realize that “fear of the Lord” was wedded to love and comfort from God. I was trying on the new clothes of a Christian commitment and not finding them very comfortable and certainly not stylish. It was grueling. Anxiety and insecurity abounded but I stubbornly persisted towards this dead end; always hoping I would get a thumbs up from Jesus for labeling myself as a Christian. Jesus would understand a young woman just wanting to be, well, cool and culturally relevant while still loving Him or so I wanted to believe. I suspected that I was eventually going to give up this fling; the cognitive dissonance was driving me nuts. My secular friends were also waiting for the penny to drop and figured it would be just a matter of time before I was brought back to my secular senses.

Slide2Before writing further, let me be clear. I had no question that I was accepted by God. I had peace with God through Christ’s sacrifice, not through any action or behavior on my part. But I did not have peace of mind.

Living a double life was becoming too stressful. I finally cried uncle. I embarked on a good old-fashioned biblical activity. I began to REPENT of my double mindedness in order to learn how to live the way Jesus wanted me to.

First, I realized that I had to circle back around to the fear of God. It wasn’t easy. I circled with trepidation; the skittish movements of a timid animal trying to get close to a compelling fierce presence that was simultaneously good and terrifying. For much of my youth fear was the compass that directed my ways and thoughts. It had worked until it didn’t!

Dale Bruner, commenting on one of the most ominous but, paradoxically, comforting sayings of Jesus (Matthew 10:26-31), concluded, “And blessedly, the one who fears God is liberated from fear of people – no little liberation…..Fear God or fear everything!” 1

Again, clear explanations are needed. We are not to be scared of God. Fear of God is not the fear a servant has for a harsh master. It is more akin to the love, reverence, awe, and, yes, fear a child might have for a loving, wise parent who has expectations of the child for her own good. Like the loving parent, nothing can separate us from his love. He will never leave or forsake us. (Romans 8:38-39; Hebrews 13:5)

As I approached the center of that terrifyingAs it turned out, as I approached the center of that terrifying, fearful, holy presence that I began to experience a beautiful, flourishing life. I experienced a power to not just want to be good but a liberation that made it possible for goodness, wisdom, love and community to begin to be part of my nature without the white knuckling attempts to be good. My deepest needs were finding the source and power to become a learner of Christ and I was being renewed and refreshed; not overnight but the trajectory was set. I had purpose and purpose that finally brought the peace.

Here I am, 47 years later with metastatic breast cancer, a compromised immune system, and a lung inflammation (side effect of cancer drug). As it turns out, amid the COVID-19 pandemic, I never been more grateful for embracing the fear of God. There is an ultimate authority who reminds me of who is in charge and why and for whom I exist.

What is the Fear of God?
Psalm 34 is helpful here.

Seeking the Lord,
Embracing that God is in charge, not me or any other person, institution, or government,
Recognizing that he is the center of the universe, not me,
• Gladly accepting that He is the boss of my life, not me, and finally,
Operating as a mortal destined for immortality because of the will of the one “who alone is immortal and lives in unapproachable light” (1 Timothy 6:16).

Many of you will have your own descriptors for a healthy fear of the Lord. The bottom line is that the ‘Fear of the Lord’ is a good and needful truth that grounds and encourages us in this chaotic world.

 

1. Bruner, F.D. 2004. Matthew, A Commentary, Vol 1: The Christbook. Eerdmans, Grand Rapids, MI. 483 pp.

9 thoughts on “Cancer, COVID-19 and the fear of God

  1. Michele Margulis March 25, 2020 / 9:39 am

    I ❤️ this. 😉

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  2. kadye March 25, 2020 / 9:45 am

    Amen! What a privilege to read this day.

  3. Susan Snyder March 25, 2020 / 10:38 am

    Thank you, dear Dona!🙏🏻

  4. Joyce N March 25, 2020 / 3:31 pm

    So well stated, Dona. You speak of anxiety and fear abounding when you were saved did not yet have both feed on the path of discipleship. How timely a message. How helpful to point out the only way to confidence and security and to give us a road map (Seeking, Embracing, Recognizing, Accepting, Operating) to get us there. I pray that many find comfort, strenght and direction from your words. I know that I do.

  5. Julie March 26, 2020 / 2:45 am

    Dona, once again you dive into a subject that meets us and points to where we need to keep our focus. I can’t help but marvel at how God is using you! Thank you for your timely message of encouragement. I’ve read it twice and I’ll read it again!

  6. Anonymous March 27, 2020 / 10:42 am

    Thank you, again, Dona. Sending love and prayers.

  7. Steve March 30, 2020 / 7:11 pm

    Thanks Sister!

  8. Mary April 6, 2020 / 8:50 pm

    Thank you Dona,
    I knew you would have some rich thoughts to share. Fear has recently taken on new dimensions for most of us—you’ve been studying it up close for a while now. Thank you for allowing us the benefit from the things you’ve learned.
    You and David at in my prayers.

  9. judexn April 12, 2020 / 4:07 pm

    God bless you,
    Dona and Dave,
    WITH
    the
    Radiance of His Love
    AND
    the
    Joy of His Presence.

    Our God
    is a Risen Savior
    in Whom we live
    and move
    and have our being.

    jude&Jesus are
    praying and praising
    HIM:
    for and with you BOTH.

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