5 shades of Grey

Disclosure: I am an American so in protest I won’t be spelling the color gray, “grey” even though I lived two wonderful years in the UK having my accent and vocab critiqued dozens of times, albeit deserving.

Confession: I have not read the book (you know the one I’m writing about) or seen the movie of the same name but I have read a bunch of reviews so I’m somewhat an authority.  Well, not the kind of authority you are thinking about.  I’m an authority on opinions.

Disclaimer: If you came to this site because you were hoping for a titillating take or review on the most important news of the century (based on the media and social network frenzy) then you are going to be big time disappointed.

Plot spoiler: I will be commenting on my hair which is coming in after chemo in 5 different shades of gray!!! Yes, can you believe it?   So, as it turns out, my blog topic is less superficial than the “buzz” about 50 Shades of Grey SHoG because studies have shown that women think about hair every 18 seconds or am I confusing that statistic with something to do with men.

I am Christian Grey. No, wait a minute, I got a little confused (chemo brain). I am a gray Christian. I didn’t used to be either one.  I went from natural brown to fake brown without anyone noticing – not even me; that shows how committed I was to the bottle. Clairol was my favorite brand and the cheapest. I never got help – I didn’t want to pay for it. So, I handled the pain of aging hair the only way I knew how – coloring it myself and it showed. I would characterize my Christian conversion differently, thankfully.

I knew the day would come when I would turn 90 or 100 and not look normal with dark brown hair but I chose not to think about it.  I just could not see how I could make the transition without looking like a skunk.

Chemo came into my life and the hair color dilemma was solved.   So, here I am – 3 and half months post-cancer treatment and sporting 5 shades of very short gray hair.

This is all well and good; but I must note that I get lots of comments that would be considered within the gray area of good manners.  Here are the top five:

  1. “You now look so much like your husband.” David has gray hair but he also has a gray mustache and goatee! Do you know how hard I am working so that doesn’t happen to me?!!
  2. “You look so much better with gray hair”. Gray or Brown – who cares?  Apparently lots of people based on the comments I am getting.  Less occasionally I get, “Hmm…you look fine now but you looked better with brown hair”.   Social tip:  whatever the color bring on the compliments without the comparisons.
  3. “You look so distinguished.” Read, “You are doing the best job you can at your age.”
  4. “Why do women talk about their hair so much?” Comments like this come from men like my husband. I see right through this one. Men are thinking about hair as much as women. They just aren’t talking about it and if they did it would not be about the shade but whether they are losing it.  Maybe women talk more about their hair because they generally have more of it than men at this age to actually talk about.poodle
  5. Patting my head, while saying “It’s so cute and fluffy.” I feel like a poodle. My husband is the main perpetrator.

Over all I am happy with my 5 shades of Gray. I don’t need 50.  I am liking Gray . He, I mean, It makes me feel mature, wise and honored as I visibly wear my wealth of experience with life and love.