My wife died: Five ‘Great Reads’ that helped

This may sound trite and irreverent:  ‘Great Reads’ for a devastating loss.  When a ‘Great Reads’ list pops up on my Kindle it lists books selected to amuse and entertain.  But ‘great’ is defined as “remarkable in magnitude, degree, or effectiveness.”  (Merrium-Webster)  And that what is great can comfort, enlighten and even transform.  I have groped about for all those in my year of grief.

So here is my list of books and articles, great reads I have turned to again and again for comfort and reassurance.  I would be grateful if you could share what has helped you.

Top choice:

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 inscribed on a memorial adjacent Dona’s grave.

1 Corinthians 15 – simply the best encouragement

Paul reminds us, “if only in this life we have hope in Christ we of all people are to be most pitied.”

(I also read 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 every time I visit my wife’s grave.  The entire passage is inscribed on a family tombstone a few feet from Dona’s gravesite.) “Therefore, comfort each other with these words.”

Close second:

Things Unseen, Mark Buchanan

A book about the “hope of heaven that inspires and sustains passion and purpose in this life and on earth.  It’s about learning how to bring heaven near – fixing our hearts and minds on things unseen.”  (2 Cor 4:18)

This Canadian pastor has not written a dense theology book.  Quite readable with tons of touching stories and even help from scenes in one of my favorite movies, The Karate Kid.  I have a friend who lost a child at 18 months.  He read Things Unseen in two days.

Third choice:

Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering, Tim Keller

Theology, but explained in a way that only Keller could.  (He died of pancreatic cancer in 2023.)  I read a chapter a day to my wife when she was going through chemo.

Fourth Place: Three short reads

What Will Heaven Be Like? Thirty-five frequently asked questions about eternity.

PETER KREEFT, Article in Christianity Today 

Tim Keller: Growing My Faith in the Face of Death – The Atlantic
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/03/tim-keller-growing-my-faith-face-death/618219/

See CS Lewis’s chapter on Heaven in his book, The Problem of Pain.  Also, Lewis’ journal account, A Grief Observed, about the death of his wife is quite helpful.  Initially, he refused to publish it, given that the first third was so raw and despairing.  (He called it a ‘yell’.) But, like many of the Psalmists, he works through his anger, grief, and fear towards gratitude for Christ.

Finally……

Pardon my shameless promotion but my wife’s blog posts – her thoughts about her terminal illness – helped me.  This is Mortality, this is Eternity – Dona’s Blog (donaeley.blog)

Best poem for sorrow and grief: 

A Brief for the Defense by Jack Gilbert

Best sentimental novel:

To Dance with the White Dog by Terry Kay

An old man loses his cherished wife and has only hand-wringing daughters for comfort. (I note that my daughters are anything but.) Then a mysterious white dog shows up.